Over the years I have been involved in a blue ribbon fact finding commission with the sole purpose of coming up with some basic rules of life. We have been doing this for the better part now of 10 years. Recently my mind has turned to our list with the Miller Lite " Men of the Square Table" commercials. While not completely the same, I generally feel they have ripped off the idea from us, and my lawsuit is in the mail Miller Lite folks. I thought I would share with you the BRE faithful, a little taste of the original "Man Laws" Scukanec style. Though I do wish Burt Reynolds and Triple H were somehow involved in my commission as they are way cooler than the shmucks I have working with me.
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You don't have to like David Hasselhough but you must respect his power
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Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life
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Sometimes I think life is just a rodeo, the trick is to ride and make it to the bell
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Believe in magic
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There's no such thing as normal life, just life
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It is about winning, losing sucks
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Swing for the fences
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When in a time of crisis, look for an alcoholic, they will always show us the way.
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Grown men should not own cats
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It is wrong to be French
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Nobody really likes coleslaw
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Three key phrases to get you through life: It was like that when I got here, cover me, Good idea boss
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You can hate the man but you have to love that suit
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You have to back your brothers play
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Never get less than 12 hours sleep, never play poker with a guy who has the same last name as a city, and never go near a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body
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2006 BMW is cool, 1988 BMW not so cool
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We should not be held accountable for anything we did in the 80's
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Driving a Mazda Miata doesn't make you gay, but it doesn't help
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Rock achieved perfection in 1973
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Everything is better deepfried
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Roll Tide
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Disneyland is the unhappiestp place on Earth
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Children find farts hysterically funny because farts ARE hysterically funny
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Monkeys make everything better
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Women, you can't live with them yet you can not club them
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New Mexico is a lot like old Mexico and that's not a good thing
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White men shouldn't dance, or rap for that matter. I'm looking at you Justin Timberlake
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Snoop Dog is doing something cooler than you right now
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You never get the one you dream of, you get to dream with the one you get
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Always go for 2
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This is what the holidays are all about, friends getting together and chewing gum
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Don't leave it up to the judges
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Theme music, every good hero should have some
