Science is a wonderful thing. Just look at what it had done for our lives and all the benefits we reap from it on a daily basis. From two ply toilet paper, front and side airbag, and TIVO it’s a magical world in which we live. But is movies and TV have taught us anything and I all think we can agree they have, it’s that one day science will kill us all and doom the planet. And while Sky Net may be years off from launching giant robots with Austrian accents to kill us all, there is a major threat to us happening right now. Meet The Large Hardon Collider.
Not scared yet? Read about the five scientific experiments most likely to end the world. See what they all have in common. I read the article on the experiments a long time ago and just today saw the article in USA Today about the Large Hardon Collider being a reality. Holly hell, we are all done for. Be afraid be every afraid.
9.8
I have a new man crush in the mold of Bear Grylls. I'm not sure why I'm drawn to strange shirtless men that roam forbiding lands for our enjoyment, I think I might have to devote my next therapy session to this one, but for whatever reason I have become obsessed with Dave Saloni. You can check out his website here. He's a big cat expert that spent a year living with lions in Africa. His trip is chronicaled in a show now playing on Aminal Planet called " A Season With Lions". Check it out if you have the chance, it's pretty damn cool and you'll find yourself in your yard calling out "BIG LION, NICE LION". Trust me on this one, you will be hooked. You can also youtube his exploits, here's a taste.
9.2
Pac 10 Round Up Week 2
Oregon- They did what they were supposed to do when playing one of the worst teams in the country. They laid 66 on them and that’s with calling the dogs off. I have always wondered what would happen in a game like this if Oregon didn’t take their foot off the petal. Sure it’s not sportsmen like, but wouldn’t it be fun to see a 100 on a scoreboard? In fact I don’t think there’s room for a 3rd digit, so you probably see 00 on the board. Big test next week for the Duckies on the road at Purdue. We’ll find out a lot after this one. This is one they should win but Chris Painter and Purdue can through the ball around and should provide a nice stiff test before USC comes calling in a couple weeks.
Oregon State- 45 to 14 at Penn State and it wasn’t as close as the score says, ouch. I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. When Stanford runs for 2 bills against you it’s not a good sign. On the plus side OSU teams have started slowly before and pulled out of nose dives to have nice seasons. But I just don’t see it happening here. They just don’t have the personnel this year that they’ve had in the past. They can’t stop the run, the o-line is bad and their quarterback play is erratic. It’s going to be a long year in Corvallis.
Stanford 17 ASU 41- Stanford may have improved from last year but they still are woefully overmatched against top teams. ASU looked sharp but we still don’t know much about the Sun devils. But in two weeks they host Georgia which could be a national coming out party for ASU. Nobody is giving them much of chance, but I have a feeling Dennis Erickson and company just might shock the country here. It’s at home and SEC teams have been bad on the road against BCS teams in the last 10 years. I’m calling my shot now, the Bulldogs go down.
Cal 66 WSU 3- Cal looks to be rolling early. Is this the year the Golden Bears finally live up to expectations? That will have to be a wait and see game, but they look awfully dangerous. And WSU looks to be one of the worst teams in the country. They have Baylor and Portland State coming up and they better win both because there might not be another win until Hawaii in November.
Arizona- They rolled Toledo 41 16 and have looked great two weeks in a row playing patsies. They have one of the easier early schedules in the conference which should build confidence but things will get tougher at UCLA in two weeks. But Arizona looks like they just might be for real. They certainly have the talent to make some noise in the conference. Everyone is talking Ducks, and Sun Devils and Bears but watch out for this sleeper.
Washington- Lost a heart breaker to BYU on a blocked extra point with two seconds left in the game after a terrible unsportsmanlike penalty on QB Jack Locker. I don’t care what the rule says, you don’t throw that flag. He wasn’t taunting or show boating in any way. It’s was total garbage, and that’s coming from a former BYU player. Washington should still look themselves in the mirror though, if you can’t kick a 30 yard field goal you don’t deserve to win. Washington looked a lot better than they did at Oregon and gave themselves a chance to win. But moral victories won’t save Ty Willingham’s job. Oklahoma is next and 0-3 right behind them. This was Washington’s season and it’s a shame to see it end in controversy on a horse crap call.
9.4
I’m not the most political man in the world. I try and leave that stuff out of the show, I have never really seen the point of going down that road. But I do feel like it’s important to know what going on in the world and especially our country. It’s no secret what side of the political spectrum I leave to, but I don’t vote for a party, I vote for people and with my head and heart. Last night I was beyond impressed with two speeches at the Republican National Convention. Take a listen if you’d like to Rudy Giuliani, one of the best speeches I have ever heard. And then VP nominee Sarah Palin. Maybe it’s because we are both Alaskans, or the she seems like the most real and grounded person in this election, or that she’s hot, but I love to hear her speak. She hit it out of the park last night. No matter what your beliefs our, there is a big decision to make here in the next two months, and I encourage everyone to make up their own mind and vote for who you think will be the best for your family and your country.
9.2
Every Monday this season I will do my pac-10 round-up and give you my thoughts on the weekend that was in the conference. With this being a holiday weekend however and UCLA playing on Monday we get a late start with a Tuesday edition of the round up.
Oregon State- Kicked off the Pac 10 season with a Thursday opening at Stanford. This was a game Oregon State needed desperately. It was a winnable game in an early schedule that doesn’t have many and they let it slip away. Beaver fans should worry that a big plodding back from Stanford ran all over them, especially when big fast backs await you at Penn State this week. We knew the defense would need some work not a total overhaul. If they don’t come up with a better effort this week, it could be over quickly and get ugly in Happy Valley. On the plus side, Lyle Moevao appears much improved from the weak armed version we saw a year ago. Although both picks were a reminder of why it’s hard to be 5’10 and a quarterback. The Beavers also clearly have some weapons to throw the ball to so all is not lost. But with games like Penn State, Utah and USC on the horizon a 1-4 start may be in the Beavers near future.
Oregon- Hey nobody can knock 44-10, can they? Well yes and no. People in Duck nation are talking Rose Bowl already. I think it’s was too early for that. I still can’t figure out if I was more impressed with the Ducks or disgusted by the Huskies. UW was flat out awful. Sure they started 10 freshman and sophomores, but still. They had on player who could play for Oregon, and you have to feel bad for Jake Locker. It’s like he’s playing pee wee football and he’s the kid who shows up to the game in his own car and with a beard and the rest of his teammates are just waiting for their Capri Sun and orange wedges. The Oregon D was great, but I need to see it against a real team. The Offense will good but not great unless they can find a quarterback. Let’s not forget that at the half UW looked to be taking control of the game, and they are terrible. I need to see more of Oregon before I pass judgment. But 44-10 isn’t a bad start.
UW- Husky fan has to be disappointed. This was the year they were going to turn the corner. They were competitive last year but couldn’t finish this year was to be different. After what I saw Ty Willingham will be lucky to get through the week three bye with his job. BYU is going to drill them next week and he just might get the ax after that. They were outmatched plain and simple by the Ducks.
WSU- Just what we thought, this team will be lucky to win 4 games. They just don’t have the horses. It’s gonna be a long year in the state of Washington this season. The Apple Cup might be a battle for last place.
USC- Look out Pac-10, this just might be USC’s best team in years. And considering they’ve won the conference the last 6 years, that’s not a good thing for the rest.
Cal- Big win for the Bears and was nice to see a local kid do so well in Kevin Riley. But I’ve seen this act from Tedford before. Win in November and then I’ll buy in.
UCLA- No other way to say it, that was huge. The defense was spectacular and the offense after being a total abortion in the first half found a heart beat in the second half and played well enough to get a W over a top 20 SEC team. What a way to start off a new regime in LA.
ASU/UA- Didn’t see either game, but did what they were supposed to do win. Keep a eye on them though, these two just might have something to say about the leader board before it’s all said and done. We forget about them tucked away in the dessert, but these are both really good teams this year.
8.27
Many times over I have said that the scariest thing gong in my world is fast motivated zombies. Try watching “Dawn Of The Dead” or “28 Days” then walking around at night sometime and tell me you didn’t start freaking out. That’s just some scary S*&t right there I don’t care who you are.
The happy music makes it even worse. Go back and watch again as the husband peels off from chasing the car to that lady standing on her lawn. Yikes!!! But am I really afraid of zombies and clowns( the 2nd scariest thing on the planet) or is there something else behind it. I found this hard hitting article that gets to the bottom of this issue. Enjoy.
8.26
I’m back blogging and on air after a brief detour to the operating room. I won’t go into any great detail to spare you, but let’s just say I am walking very slowing after having something cut away from a dark place downstairs. And just a word to the wise for all you out there, if you feel something abnormal below the belt and it is growing, bleeding, or painful, get to a doctor stat. That’s not an area you want to ignore and hope the problem goes away. That how you end up with the bad attached and nbody wins with that. I don’t mess around down there and took of business right away. Kudos to DR. Matosh, ass doctor to the stars. He’s the man.
Several things I need to get you besides my own ass. Duck fan is getting ready to jump right about now and needs to be talked down. At which point he will then believe that Ropper was better than Costa all along and that this is the best thing that could ever happen. And now the Ducks will go 11-1 and play for the national championship, after all look what he did in the Sun Bowl. That’s duck fan, too low and why too high. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I feel bad for Costa because you start to wonder after 3 surgeries if this young man may be done playing meaningful time for the Ducks? But like I’ve said all along, you just don’t come back from ACL tears after 10 months and have everything be hunky dory. Lucky for Oregon there’s a quality plan B. But there’s a reason plan B isn’t plan A. Ropper will be fine and will win you plenty of games and run the offense. But he doesn’t give defensive coordinators fits and isn’t the type of QB to make the spread rattle and roll. I think this cost Orgeon a win or 2 but also hurts the depth as much as anything. Ropper is not mobile and will get hit more in this offense. If he goes down who steps up. A true freshmen (Harper)perhaps? Houston we have a problem. But there were no guarantees Costa was going to be great, but he did fit the system, and he will be missed. I think Oregon was an 8 to 9 win team with Costa and a 7 to 8 win team with Ropper.
In sadder news, Kevin Duckworth was found dead in his hotel room on the Oregon coast last night. Details are few but a cardiac emergency appears to be the culprit. This really shouldn’t come as a surprise even with the Duck’s young age 44, as is recent years he had gotten to well over 400 lbs maybe even 5. That just isn’t a sign of good health. But it’s very sad no matter what the reasons. He was a great basketball player in his day(two time all star) and a better man off it. He was loved in Portland and growing up here I can tell you I wasn’t the only heavy kid that pretended to be the Duck in my drive way shooting the little jump hook. Let’s all raise our Dairy Queen commemorative Duckworth glasses one last time for the Duck. You will be missed.
8.21
I myself being a slow white man have longed for the day when for once the rich white man would have the upper hand in society. Every 4 years I am forced to suffer the humiliation of my race as the Olympics role around and we the white people of the world get crushed in every sprint event in existence. So again this year my hopes for a white world fastest man have been dashed by some Bolt guy from Jamaica. But the really disappointing thing about Bolt was that he ran 9.69 while slowing up. So just how far off is the white man from beating Bolt? Realize that no white man has ever broken 10 flat in 100. Sad isn't it. We white men everywhere are almost half a second behind the pace, which in sprinting terms is the difference between Cindy Crawford and Tonya Harding. Who is the fastest white man ever you ask.......I give you Marian Woronin. I'm going to go home and cry now
8.19
I just returned from my vacation with the family. We went up to Lake Mayfield with some friends and did some water skiing, fishing, tubing. and mostly eating. I can honestly say I gained 12 lbs over the week. Which has lead to some serious self loathing. I'm thinking about getting a eating disorder, I just haven't figured out which one. The highlight of the trip was a tubing wreck that will go down in camping lore. My friend Todd had a tube that was billed as untipable. We debunked that myth. Picture me and two fiends on the tube, some 750 lbs of beef doing 40 mph and hitting a 4 foot wake. The tube was destroyed and how one of us didn't die is beyond me. Good times were had by all.
I missed a entire week of sports, but thanks to TiVo I was able to catch up in about 45 minutes. What did people do before this God sent invention? It's like my 4th child. Here is some observations from the week I missed and my trip.
Obey the weight limit on floating devices
Michael Phelps is beyond great but the greatest athlete of all time? Give me a break people
Those Speedo swimsuits should not be worn by anybody but Olympic swimmers. Can you imagine your average guy at the local Y in one of those? I just threw up a little.
Pre-season football means nothing but I can't stop watching
When camping I don't think it's possible to go 15 minutes without eating
Brandon Roy's knee injury shouldn’t worry you.
His knees in general should
Can we please shut up about how good international basketball is now
Rudy Fernandez is not Kobe Bryant no matter how much Blazers fans want him to be
Handball should be the next major sport in this country
I should never try to tan, it just leaves me really red and smelling of BBQ pork
That Bolt guy can do what ever he wants. He broke the world record while jogging across the line
It's good to be back
8.7
The Brett Favre era has finally come to a merciful end in Green Bay. After what seemed like 12 years of bickering and backbiting, it was actually just a couple weeks the Packers traded the gunslinger to the Jets in exchange for a 4th round pick. The pick has the potential to become a 3rd, 2nd, or even a first depending on how well Brett plays and the Jets finish. They would have to make the Superbowl for that to happen and there’s a better chance of Favre and Packers’ GM Ted Thompson moving in with one another than the Jets making the Superbowl.
After 16 years of glory this is how it all ends for Favre. His value was a 4th round pick. But that’s what happens in the NFL. As Batman would say, “You either die a hero or live to see yourself become the villain.” It will be interesting to see how this affects Favre’s legacy in Green Bay? Whether it tarnishes what has been a stellar career with a few clumsy games in New York. It won’t be pretty in New York. Favre in 38 soon to be 39 years old and the body doesn’t heal like it use to. He’s playing with a team that went 4-12 last year and while it made improvements doesn’t look to be going anywhere soon. It’s a new system he has to learn on the fly and a new cast of players that he has to get used to. Oh and the fact that in the last 5 years he has had one good season. I’m sorry but this just doesn’t end well for Brett. I have the sinking feeling that somewhere around week 7 he’s going to be wishing he would have taken that 25 million to stay retired as a Packer. But as we saw with Broadway Joe in LA, Emmitt in Arizona, Jerry Rice in Seattle, sometimes stars greatest weakness is knowing when to hang em up. They don’t know what to do without the cheers and spotlight. Football has become who they are not something they do. It’s what made them great but also what does them in.
Here’s to wishing Brett all the best in New York and hoping that he doesn’t end up a poor shadow of what we remember him as. Like Willie Mays falling down in center field for the Mets. That wasn’t Willie, and this isn’t the gunslinger in New York. Just a old man pretending to be the legend of Lambeau.
College football is in full gear right now as camps are open all over the season. And while linemen everywhere are wishing they were dead I couldn’t be happier about the greatest game on Earth kicking off in less than a month. There just isn’t another sport that brings the passion, tradition, and intensity of college football. It’s why I balk at the folks that say we need a playoffs system. We have one, it’s called the regular season. It’s one of the big reasons why I love the game so much. When Oregon and UW square off Aug 30th the game matters. When Ohio State comes to SC 2 games in you better believe it matters. Find me another sport that the first 3 games are just as important as the last 3. Add in a fan base that’s more passionate that just about any other sports, European soccer fans aside(they kill people over games), unmatched rivalries , dotting the I, Rocky Top, the Iron Bowl, Army V Navy, I could go on all day, but let’s just say it doesn’t get any better and I can’t wait for kickoff. To get you ready take a look at the 8 baddest men in the game. Nice to see Patrick Chung making the list.
8.4
You couldn’t have a bigger circus in Green Bay right now if you brought in a pack of elephants. And speaking of Elephants the Packers have finally stepped in it if you know what I mean. I thought up until this point they had handled a very tough situation the very best that they could. They are dealing with a man who has become more legend than quarterback. “Brett Favre is 7 feet tall and consumes the Vikings with bolts of lightning from his arse.” And moving on from a legend is never easy. Sometimes it works, see Steve Young . But most of the time you end up with Brian Greese. But the point is eventually you have to move on and the Packers had decided to do that. I applauded them for that. They were tired of Brett waiting till the last moment to make up his mind every year and I also believe that Packer management doesn’t think that much of Favre as a QB anymore. It’s easy to get caught up in last year numbers, and to Favre’s credit he had a great season. But look over the last couple and you will see that may be the exception not the rule. The two seasons before that Favre was a average to below average QB. He threw more picks than TD’s and didn’t win a lot of games. He also wasn’t interested in playing the type of game new head coach Mike McCarthy wanted him to. Something he finally did last year and was very successful with until the end of the year when the old Favre started showing back up and reared it’s ugly head in the NFC title game , at home no less. Let’s be honest he was terrible and hasn’t been strong in the second half of a season in years and Favre is a year older and not exactly a year better this time around and isn’t getting any younger. So you can point to the numbers and records but that’s not what you’re getting anymore. He may be better than Rodgers right now, but Green Bay doesn’t feel they can win a Super Bowl this year, which I agree with, so they want to move on. Whether you agree or not you can see the logic unless you’re blinded by the legend. But what Green Bay has done by allowing this situation to come to a head and have number 4 in camp at the #2 guy fighting for his job is ludicrous. You can’t move on from the legend when he’s standing 3 feet away. They acted tough, but he called their bluff and they folded like a pair of 2’s. Packers brass just pulled a Favre. They played a great season and fumbled it away at the most crucial moment.
7.29
Quinn Pitcock is now my favorite football player of all time. He decided to retire after one year in the league and made his decision on his way to training camp. (Story here)He is going to get killed for being soft and a pansy that couldn’t hack it. Or for being stupid for throwing away that kind of money and opportunity, but anybody that’s been in his shoes on their way to 8 weeks of hell at training camp and 16 more during the season has wanted to do what Pitcock did, they just didn’t have the guts. I wish I had the stones he did back when those thoughts were in my head. Life in the NFL for many is not great, nor fabulous, or anything close to fun. It’s a brutal life filled with tension, anxiety and pain. And I for one applaud the young man simply saying he didn’t want to live that life anymore. Bravo Quinn, bravo.
7.24 Pac 10 Media day
Pac-10 media day is in full swing and I will be giving you a running play by play of all the details as the happen.
Mike Stoops checks out super hot blonde reporter. I haven’t figured out who she’s credentialed through, possibly Hooters or some gentlemen club. The half bleach blonde half black hair screams serious reporter.
Mike riley as tan as ever. Every year I see this guy around this time and he looks like he just got off a Jimmy Buffett concert tour. Also found out he was one of the guys who originally painted Resser stadium when he was a kid. It always drives me crazy to see the old side of that place because the orange paint has faded to a off pink. Can I get some Dutch Boy orange on the thing? Riley tells me he’s working on it.
Hot blonde reporter walks by again. Still not sure what’s she doing here as she has interviewed nobody. She does seem to talk to all the coaches a lot, just not on camera. Hmm, developing story and so far the story of the day.
USC linebacker Brain Cushing needs a bigger suit. He looks like an over inflated balloon and that he’s about to burst any second. He keeps getting mistaken for a offensive lineman. I would say something to him but I’m afraid he’ll eat me. The USC strength program must be working. Even his jaw and forehead seem to be in shape. Hmmm, I wonder?
Hot Blonde reporter at it again as she gets hug from Pete Carroll. Yet still no interviews, this is quite a streak she’s on. 2 hours done and has done nothing productive but still has talked to more coaches than anybody here.
Pete Carroll oozes cool. That guy is a rock star here and handles it about as well as anybody I’ve ever seen. Is there any doubt this guy is the best coach in the country? Why wouldn’t you want to play for him?
Just spotted some guy who must weight 5 spins and is wearing sweat pants and a camo shirt with the sleeves ripped off doing interviews. I don’t know this man but I want to party with him. He along with the hot blonde reporter who is now hugging Dennis Erickson, have been the highlights of the day. Camo shirt is also sweating to the point I feel bad for him
Camo Shirt looks ready to go down any minute. He’s against the ropes, we need some water up here stat or we could have a medical emergency on our hands. I now believe he started out with sleeves on but ripped them off in a attempt to cool down. If he does the same thing with his pants I’m leaving.
Can I just say that Mike Riley might be my favorite football guy I’ve ever encountered? I just want to give the man a hug. Is that so wrong?
WSU receiver Brandon Gibsons’, who despite great numbers, teams have been terrible and will be again, gets my vote for best dressed player here, with Jake Locker of UW a close second. It’s funny to see some of these guys who you can tell have never worn a suit. I’m pretty sure Willie Tuitama borrowed his from a larger teammate as it’s about 3 sizes too big. Which is better than Brain Cushing’s who got one 3 sizes too small. Maybe they should trade?
Still haven’t figured out what hot blonde reporter lady is doing here. She just keeps walking by waiting to be noticed.
The local LA media is nuts. There are about 800 of them and they all look like something out of a B rate horror movie. Media People in general aren’t the most hygienic by nature by the folks in LA could stand a hose down every now and then. Or at least try wearing some slacks instead of camo cargo pants or sweats.
After 25 TV interviews, 15 radio, and who knows how many print it amazing me these guys aren’t in worse moods. Now don’t get me wrong, Dennis Erickson was a bit of a red ass by the end but all in all the coaches and players handled themselves pretty well. I think the hot stripper/reporter hugging everyone had something to do with it. Hey at least I figured out what her role here was. I will officially call her a morale fluffer, and she was damn good at her job. She is still the talk of the crowd.
Mike Riley just walked by and I still want to hug him.
Lunch was a Mexican Fiesta which was pretty solid. Way better than the standard media cold cuts. It was hilarious to watch the fat media horde sprinting to the buffet line. I get it,we are all fat and hungry but show a little decor people. The food scene is the most embarrassing part of being in the media. There’s no way not to get grouped into it. Just accept it and spoon up your chimichanga.
Well that will just about do it for us in LA, thanks heavens. All I can say is I’m glad I don’t live here.
7.20
It pains me more than you will ever know to finally admit this. I miss Tiger Woods. I tired and tired to buy into what the British Open was selling. And the product was actually good. I had the Shark in the hunt for the first time in more than a decade, a whiskey drinking Irishman playing on a bad wrist (possibly more impressive than Tiger’s knee) going back to back, and a course that was as hard as anything we’ve ever seen in a major championship. It should have been enough, it really should have.
But it just wasn’t. And it kills me to say this, but without Tiger golf, even major championships are like a tuna fish sandwich with the mayo. It’s just not moist and delicious. Yes Tiger may not be the bread or even the meat but he makes or breaks the sandwich. Final round coverage began at 5 in the morning on Sunday and I told myself I would wake up and watch. After all a shark is just as good as a tiger isn’t it? Well let’s just say 5 came and went and I was dead to the world. When I did wake up around 8:30 I forgot the silly thing was even on until 9. That doesn’t happen if Tiger is on the prowl. I may root against him, but I still root and I still watch. Or more importantly I make it a point to watch. And that’s something that no other golfer in the world brings to the table. So in humble tribute to the man, take a look atthis…
7.6
Hope everyone had a nice and safe 4th of July. 10 fingers and 10 toes is always a good sign you had a decent 4th. I almost broke down and went to the fort this year but I just can’t bring myself to toss myself into that abyss of people. There’s just something about large crowds that make me want to stand myself in the eye and shoot everyone else. I’m sure one of these I will be forced to take my family into that sweltering cesspool, after all I’m forced into Chuckie Chesses several times a year, but at least I fought it off for one more year. Instead my family and I got invited over to our friends’ parents’ house for a little BBQ and…wait for it…. shoot some guns. When this offer was first presented to me a laughed until II realized they were serious. After a moment of hesitation I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity. What could be more American than a fourth of July BBQ, hanging with friends, and cracking off a few rounds? After all who needs fireworks when you have a 12 gauge. I was all in.
Upon my arrival it was even better than I had hope for. I rolled up to the house which was out in the middle of nowhere. It was a private road where only family members and close friends were allowed to live. It was one giant compound. The dad came rolling out wherein a Navy shirt with the slogan “ Don’t Tread On Me” with a bit rattlesnake of it. That right there made my 4th. But it would only get better. As we made our way over to the gun range The arsenal got opened up, handguns, rifles, and shotguns oh my!!!! And as a topper the garden was over by rifle range and to keep the crows out a radio had been set up playing, wait for it…………..right wing conservative talk shows!!!!!! You haven’t lived until you’ve squeezed off a clip next to a 6 year old shooting a 22 rifle lying in the prone firing position, while a mix of right wing propaganda and patriotic songs play in the background on the 4th of July. I will never forget that day. And did I mentioned everyone one was highly religious? It was like any minute the government was going to raid us. GOD BLESS THE USA. What a weekend.
wed 6.25
The first domino has fallen in the Blazers draft war room. Rumors out say that the Blazers have a acquired the 27th pick in the first round from New Orleans for cash considerations. Namely 3 million in cash which is the most you can give up in a trade. Thank you very much Paul Allen’s checkbook. This gives Portland the 13th, 27th, and 3 more picks in the 2nd round. I also think it’s the first in about 4 more moves to come if Kevin Pritchard’s track record hold true. I still don’t think they take anybody at 13. There are so many possibilities it’s silly to speculate. But it should be a very interesting 48 hours to see what Portland does. What ever happens I think Pritchard has earned some leeway in draft deals. You have to put faith in the man that he knows s what he’s doing. Either way, let the games begin.
Mondat 6.23
Sad new that George Carlin has passed. George was a good man and a good bowler. (Sorry for the Big Lebowski reference I couldn’t help myself. After my brother sent me this it’s been on my brain. Caution many f bombs in this link. ) Carlin was one of those guys that was before my time. I enjoyed his stand up but never saw him in some revolutionary light that older people saw him. But that fact that he could still be damn funny and relevant at 71 was a testament to his talent. He was an all time great and will be missed by many, myself included.
On a old man note I can barely walk right now as a stabbing pain resides now in my lower back from painting two rooms in my house over the weekend. How lame is it to get hurt painting a room? I swear every year my injures get worse and worse. It’s only a matter of time before I break my neck in a freak hide a bed accident. Some of injury highlights to date are, hurting my shoulder drinking a bottle of water, blowing out a arm trying to start a lawnmower, and wrecking my knee getting down from ladder. Yes football was good to me. Why the hell didn’t I play golf growing up? Oh yeah I was a fat kid, and as a fat kid your only chance of any athletic success and popularity is playing football. Damn you glandular problems, and Burger King, and Taco Bell, and Chinese food.
It was one of those all over kind of weekends. Nothing was really grabbing my attention but I seemed to watch about 12 different events without really being drawn in by any of them. I was kind of fired up for the Belmont Stakes, but when I tuned in at 11 and realized that race didn’t actually start for another 846 hours it lost a little steam for me. But when they did get around to running the damn thing I watch and wow how exciting was that. I kept watching and waiting for Big Brown to make his move so I could say I watch history. I’m still waiting for him to make his move. The most interesting part of the race was hearing everyone debate about what went wrong. Well that and seeing how sweaty one man could be, Rick Dutrow I’m looking right at you.Apparently NASA is being brought in to check Big Brown out now because nobody can find anything wrong with him. Well here’s a novel idea, the horse didn’t want to run. After all it is an animal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been playing ball with my Boxer Apollo and for whatever reason he decides not to chase it.We all built this race up to be the end all and for us it was. It was history for us, for Big Brown it was just another day out in the dirt. And for whatever reason he pulled an Apollo and decided to not chase the ball this time. There’s a reason why no horse has pulled off the triple in 30 years. Get over it people, it’s a horse. And even if he had one, we all would have forgotten about it in a week. Besides, his owners still get 50 million in stud fees, and the horse get’s to spend the next 20 years having sex for money. All is right in the Big Brown world.
5/15
Hope all you had a wonderful father’s day and got something other than a crappy tie and some ribbon candy. I scored some good swag including a new Ipod which is always nice. My day however was highlighted by my moody preteen daughter throwing a huge hissy fit when I asked my children for a father’s day foot rub. This is a standard request for me on my day but for some reason now that she’s 11 it’s beneath her and causes her to go running into her room to call her wiener friend Julia. I was mildly annoyed by this mostly amused and then horrified when I realized she’s only going to get moodier and more bat s crazy in the coming years.
But at least I had the US open and NBA finals to fill in the gaps between moody preteen outburst, overeating, and naps. By the way did you know that Tiger Woods had a hurt knee? I get it folks, he had surgery can we all move on. It was 8 weeks ago, it’s not as if he walked out of the OR and onto the course. I’ve seen teammates have the same surgery on a Sunday and play the next Saturday. And that’s football, which might bit a bit more challenging than golf. But I guess I’m forgetting about all the torque he puts on his knee. How silly of me to forget something that’s mentioned very 20 seconds. You’d think after the 1,000 time the announcers said torque somebody in the truck would have gotten out the thesaurus. It was ridiculous, and somebody should be embarrassed by the coverage. You don’t know how bad I was rooting for that put to roll out, but was there ever any doubt he was gonna drill it? If I had to pick one man on the planet to hit a put with my life on the line, Mr. Woods would you do the honors?
I may dislike the way he is covered and the fact that everybody kisses his ass at every turn, how he pitches Buick but doesn’t drive one, how he puts more torque on his knee that any human who’s ever lived. I could go on and on and on and on, ok you get it. I may not like him, but I’m not blind. The guy is amazing and makes for great television. That was one of the best golf tournaments I have ever seen. The end of his 3rd round is the stuff of legend, and the put on 18 to force the playoff will end up in a commercial I promise you. All that being said, go Rocco.
The Lakers just delayed the Celtics parade by a game, nothing more. I still can’t believe how a team can look so good one minute and so bad the other 47. LA will be back and I think Kobe will win another title or two before it’s all done just not this year. They need to teach the Euros how to get in front of someone.
My brother and I were also wondering who smells worse, Gasol or Vujacic? After going round and round, we settled on Gasol. We figured his sheer size along with his beards ability to soak in cigarette fumes gave him the edge. Shortly after crowning him the winner we saw Radmanovic and still haven’t been able to make up our minds. This will consume my thoughts for at least a week.
Kept seeing adds for that new robot movie from Pixar which my kids will demand to see. It was good the first time I saw it when it was called Short Circuit. That damn thing is a rip off of Johnny five. Why is nobody but me outraged?
5/9/08
Some other things of Notes, nobody told the Celtics they were supposed to lose to the Lakers.It’s not over yet, but Boston really does look like the better team. Those first two games were not flukes.
I had intended on waking up to watch the French Open Final, but it was tennis and I slept in. On the plus side the match was over so quickly they replayed Wimbledon from last year and that was kind of cool to watch for like 3 minutes.Can somebody please tell Nadal that no matter how good he is the man capriess still look really gay.Nobody can pull those off, I could also stand to see some sleeves as well.
I almost kicked my own ass for watching the entire program of 1995’s best goalies on the NHL network.This happens to me a lot when for no reason I can think of I watch something completely worthless for like an hour. Last year I watch an entire Green Bay Packers minicamp practice. I really need to get out more.
NBA Vs NHL
I can’t remember the last time I was this excited for the first round of the NBA playoffs. To be honest I can’t remember the last time I gave a damn about the first round of the NBA playoffs let alone was fired up to see them. But I have to give credit where credit is due, and the NBA has saved itself in my eyes. As recently as last year I was on the verge of checking out. And if it weren’t for my job I very well may have. I was tired of seeing a bunch of lazy guys get caught smoking weed, while shooting up a strip club, on their way to a dog fight. I couldn’t behind a lot of the players and more importantly the product on the floor was sloppy and uninspired. Maybe if you were lucky the conference finals would be mildly interesting. Quick, who did the Spurs beat last year in the western finals? Exactly, who the hell remembers? It was the Jazz by the way. This season though was a time of redemption for the NBA both on and off the floor. There really wasn’t a lot of off the court problems, we won’t count the Knicks. And the product on the floor was as good as I can remember, again we won’t count the Knicks. Sure it helped me that the Blazers were good this year and a easy team to get behind. But the whole NBA was just more interesting and compelling than it had been since 23 left the game. (I’m not counting the fat version 2.0 that played for the Wizards) The Spurs and Suns should be the best first round playoffs series ever. Can you believe we get that in the first round? It’s a good thing too, because this time of the year I am usually caught up in Stanley Cup fever, but man I’m having a hard time this go round.
It’s a sad state of affairs for the NHL when a lifelong puck head like me is turning the channel. Or more like I’m not tuning in to begin with. When I do find hockey on I watch but half the time I forget the game is even on. I can’t remember the last time I missed a Red Wings playoffs tilt. I’ve already missed 2 this year alone and it's only 6 games in. Completely forget about them. If they don’t get the hell of VS stat they are gonna end up being the WNBA on ice. It was my dad’s birthday a week or so ago and I went to buy him a Bruins jersey and the guy at Just Sports laughed at me when I asked them if they carried NHL jerseys. So while I soak up the NBA a piece of me is dying inside with the sorry state of the NHL. I hope I get more into it as the playoffs roll on, but I don’t see how when I can’t even see the games I want or find them when they are on.
On a side note, new episodes of Man VS Wild every Friday on Discovery channel. I’d rather watch Bear Grylls kick ass than the NBA and NHL combined. To quote my Bear Grylls t-shirt, “Bear Grylls, rewriting man laws one continent at a time.” If you’re not watching you should be you pansies.
Over The Hill
Do you ever just look at yourself in the mirror and feel like you’ve aged 10 years since last you took a look at yourself? I had one of those moments just the other day and since then, I have really started to notice little road signs pointing me straight to oldmansville.
Now some of these are just plain obvious, for instance my hair is starting to look like my front lawn: patchy at best. But those aren’t the things I’m talking about. It’s the subtle things that go unnoticed most of the time, but when they finally come out of hiding, they smack you right in the face. And the sad part for me is, I’m not even 30 yet. I figure at this rate I’ll be dead by next month.
For instance, my nose hair is growing at an alarming rate. I used to trim the hedges about once every couple of months. Now I find myself on almost a daily crusade to keep them inline. And don’t even get me started on the shoulder hair. If I could only harness this power for use on my head I would be a happy man.
And when the hell did I start needing to take naps every 10 minutes. I swear I’m like my 3 year old daughter or my 80 year old grandpa. I haven’t made it through an entire movie in 6 months. (To be honest I don’t really mind this one at times. Naps can be rather relaxing. But it would be nice to have some control over them) Speaking of sleep I used to go to bed around 1 AM and be fine at 7:30. Now I’m lucky to see 11:30. I can’t remember the last time I watched Conan; this one really bums me out. The man is a genius.
I never really feared growing old. I always thought I’d grow a cool gray bread, pull my pants up to armpits and hit the early bird at Denys. What’s not to like there. I just didn’t realize all that went along with it. There’s some bad with every good I suppose. It’s just a little weird finding out what all that entails.
And it seems I discover something new every day. I just hope I don’t start telling random stories that go on forever and don’t lead to any point. Like the time I went fishing in Longview with my friend, but we ended up going to the movies instead and I got these nachos that were really good, but the movie kind of sucked, but at least the weather was nice……..
