Many of you might remember back when I first started the webpage here, under the name “The Barrett Robbins Experience.” My brother John was a regular contributor, but due to his contract demands we had to let him go. There’s just no room in the budget for silly demands like being paid. But I am proud to announce that management sat down with his representatives and a new deal has been struck (basically is boils down to a Pizza Hut Buffet once a week) to bring back Johnny Ballgame to the Big Suke Experience as our film critic. Each week he will bring you his thoughts on life, liberty and the pursuit of fine cinema.
I've been gone for awhile, made some changes in my style and they say you cant go home anymore"-Billy Joel
I have been gone but with apologies to anyone who may have missed my reviews (Hey, there might be someone out there who likes reading this crap) I'm trying to come back home again. I've still been going to the movies I've just been lazy with my reviews so I will try and catch you up quickly before moving onto this weeks movie, Max Payne.
Movie Review Catch-Up:
Appaloosa: Extremely average and flawed. Viggo Mortensen was pretty cool. Ed Harris was a wussy. Somebody needed to shoot Renee Zellweger in the face despite the fact that it already looks like someone did. C
Body of Lies: Pretty slow and predictable. DiCaprio was good. Pretty average everywhere else. C+
The Express: Pretty good although Dennis Quaid ruined the movie for me. The whole time he was coaching I was thinking, "That’s not a coach, that’s Dennis Quaid." The kid that played Ernie Davis was pretty good. Football scenes were fine, sad ending. Pretty much a formula movie. B-
So this week I climbed back into the saddle, brought Big Jimmy along and went to see Marky Marks new effort Max Payne.
Apparently this movie is based on a video game, one that I have never seen or played so I don’t know if that lack of a reference point makes a difference or not. The story follows a dark and depressed NYPD detective (Marky Mark) who's searching for the killers of his wife and child. After a series of grisly murders that may have some connection to his wife's killing he teams up with a super hot mob assassin (Mila Kunis) to try and solve the case. Complicating matters are a group of drug addicted former military soldiers, mob goons and high ranking officials at a leading pharmaceutical company.
Turns out that the pharmaceutical company was secretly developing a drug for the military (surprise) and something went wrong (again, surprise) and now there are a bunch of strung out loonies running around New York City causing problems. Do you think that somehow this may be connected to the murder of Marky Marks wife, who happened to work for the company. Do you think??
Now if the movies have taught us anything and I'd like to think they have, anytime there is a large pharmaceutical company in the movie, chances are THEY ARE EVIL. Evidently companies like this are like child molesters, inherently evil and need to be stopped. Further complicating the movie was the recent Andy Samberg SNL skit where he does an impersonation of Mark Walberg. If you’ve seen it, you know what I'm talking about. The entire movie I couldn’t stop thinking or saying, "Hey Donkey, say hello to your mother for me." If you don’t know what I'm talking about then you still have a chance.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C Average. I usually really like Marky Mark but I don’t think this was his best effort. His character is pretty dark and grumpy and there really isnt a lot too him. I was waiting for him to kick a lot of ass or have a cool line or two but it never happened. Mila Kunis and Beau Bridges were fair. Ludacris plays a IA Detective but I didn’t think he did a very good job at all. Chris O'Donnell makes an appearance but he is pretty whiny and gets smacked around. Right on par for they guy who played "Robin".
Comedy: N/A Not even trying.
Hot Chicks: B+ Nice effort here. Mila Kunis is fast making a case for herself to be added to the movie hot chick of the year club. She's legitimately hot. Also carries a machine gun which makes for a nice hot/armed combo. You also get a second hot chick, Olga Kurylenko who is playing the new Bond girl. Shes not in the movie long and she gets hacked to pieces with a machete but while shes around, she pretty hot.
Story: C- Average and predictable. No real surprises. Didn’t really get all that drawn into the story and any level. Again, not sure what the video game offered in the way of building blocks for a script but they didn’t do much with it. Based on the previews I figured the story would have a supernatural type of slant, with some demons and things flying around (which would be cool) but that ended up not being the case and a minor story line. Disappointing.
Violence: C If your Marky Mark and your name in the movie is MAX PAYNE and you’re a disgruntled NYC cop who plays by his own rules and has nothing to lose, you should kick a lot of ass. Well, he didn’t. Plus there was a lot of Matrix-y slow motion bullets and shooting and stuff which is SO…Played.
Best Part: C+ then F (C+) The new Bond chick gearing down to hop into the sack with Marky Mark. (F) All we got to see was her back and then Marky kicks her out of bed and onto the streets. Where she precedes to get hacked to pieces with a big knife which we also didn’t get to see.
Overall: C Pretty average all around. Kind of a little Sin City mixed with the Matrix but not nearly as good as either one. At least it wasn’t too long and there were some hot chicks. Oh, and "Say hello to your mother for me" jokes were plentiful so that was a plus.
Theater Count: 4 (including Big Jimmy)
Crap I ate at the movies: Free popcorn (upgraded to a medium) with no butter. Small Coke Zero. A handful of Junior Mints and Whoppers. Big Jimmy offered me some Reeses Pieces but I turned them down.
Burn After Reading 9/25
After a brief hiatus and a trip to Bountiful, Utah were I had to (a) speak at my grandma's funeral and (b) sleep in the same bed as my brother, Im back the Tuesday night movie quest lives on. This week, I went to check out the Coen Brothers latest, "Burn After Reading".
The Coen Brothers (Big Lebowski, Fargo) , fresh off an Oscar win for last years No County for Old Men, are back at it in classic style. This movie is straight Coen Brothers, start to finish. Its funny just because, a little dark, kind of disturbing and packed with great characters and an all star cast. In classic Coen Brothers style you can almost see them sitting around and writing the script. It feels like the story exists only to have a vehicle for these people to do what they do and that’s a good thing. Its like they said "It would be funny if Brad Pitt acted like this" or "John Malkovich would be a great crazy, drunk ex-CIA analyst". And they were right.
The story centers around Brad Pitt (Chad Feldheimer) and Frances McDormand (Linda Litzke) who play two well intentioned but clueless gym employees who find a CD in the gym locker room. They discover that the CD contains the rough draft of a book that is being written by Malkovich after he has been fired by the CIA for having a drinking problem. Pitt and McDormand think that the material is highly classified government secrets and attempt to black mail Malkovich (Ozbourne Cox) for money to finance a series of plastic surgeries that McDormand wants to have. Exactly….When that doesn’t work the story weaves into the mix George Clooney (a Treasury agent who is cheating on his wife with just about everyone), Tilda Swinton (who is married to Cox and trying to divorce him), the Russians, the CIA, the manager of the gym Hardbodies where Pitt and McDormand work and the FBI.
Expertly written and well filmed, the story has numerous twists and turns, some dark undertones, several generally funny moments and Brad Pitt's hair (which is excellent). If you like movies that are just stories and have no real point to them then this one works for you. To quote J.K. Simmons character at the end of the movie:
"What did we learn here? Well, to never do that again even though I don’t know what the hell just happened"
Exactly….
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: A Fantastic cast including Pitt, Clooney, Swinton, Malkovich, McDormand and Simmons. All of them were excellent. You can almost feel how fun it would be to work with the Coen Brothers on something like this. Most of the characters are just idiots, heavily flawed and all caught up in the story that has wrapped up all of them. Movies like this work with all-start casts when each actor is willing to step back and not be the star but just part of the show. That happens here and its great to watch.
Comedy: B This feels like a movie that will get funnier each time you see it. There arent many laugh out loud funny scenes but there is plenty to laugh at. The comedy of this movie is how dumb the characters are, the looks on their faces, the messed up espionage and just the interaction of the characters as they progress through the story. There are a few running gags throughout the story that are funny and Brad Pitt is great as kind of a clueless, bumbling personal trainer. Burn After Reading is the kind of movie that you find yourself chuckling about days after you see it as you remember things that happened. That’s always good.
Hot Chicks: N/A Not really trying for that here. I like McDormand and Tilda Swinton is kind of creepy/British attractive but the Coen Bros arent really trying for a hot chick factor here. No need for it in this story. Not that any movie isnt made better with a random boob scene…but Im not going to grade them down for not having one.
Violence: B- Sneaky violence. Effective. That’s all I can say.
Story: A I loved it. I get the feeling that there wont be much middle ground here. I think people will either love this movie or hate it. Cant imagine too many "middle of the road" reviews here. I thought it was great and look forward to seeing it again as I think it will only get better the more times you see it. If you were kind of middle of the road…give it another shot on DVD.
Best Part: A Brad Pitt Hard to pick one as there were several parts that I liked about Burn… I think this is an example of the total of all the parts being better than any one individual piece. That being said, Brad Pitt was great. Right up until…well…you'll have to see.
Overall: A The Coen Brothers are probably my favorite directors…I just like what they do. The Big Lebowski and Fargo are two of my favorite movies to watch and this one will join that club. I probably go see it again and then buy it on DVD when it comes out. If you’re a Coen Bros fan or like this group of actors than I think youre in for a treat here. If not, check it out anyway. You may be surprised. Just don’t expect it too make any sense.
Theater Count: 2 Two girls, middle of the theater sitting next to each other. This is the main difference between guys and girls at the movies. Two guys would have used the gay seat buffer and left a space in between. That’s just a fact.
Crap I ate at the movies: Small popcorn (no butter), small Coke Zero, some Hot Tamales and Milk Duds that I snuck in. Ive discovered that the Milk Dud / Hot Tamale Mix is very underrated. Try it, they go well together. So far the perfect in the mouth ratio is 2 tamales to 1 dud.
Random Note: Apparently they raised the price of the movies now, up a quarter to $9.75. Just make it $10 already. No one wants to have to deal with the quarter that you get in change. You cant even use it in the vending machines they have in there cause most of that crap costs .50 cents.
8/17 Pineapple Express
I found myself with fairly high hopes for this week's movie, The Pineapple Express, staring Seth Rogan and James Franco as two stoner buddies who get caught up in a gang war between some drug dealers, crooked cops and the Chinese Mafia. Early reviews came in with mixed results and the word on the street was that the combination of the comedy and action parts of the movie didn’t really mesh. Critics said that each part was decent on its own but they didn’t come together well enough to make the movie work. This usually doesn’t bother me so I settled in and was hoping for some laughs and action, whether or not they meshed I figured I could enjoy the movie anyway. When the (pot) smoke cleared, the problem was that the movie missed on both parts. The action wasn’t good enough to carry the movie, neither was the comedy. The movie needed one aspect or the other to step up and be good enough on its own and both fell short in my opinion.
Has America achieved its fill of Seth Rogan? 8 movie roles or voice-over parts since 2007 and 5 more either coming out or in production for 2008-09. I like most of what Rogan has done recently but thought he was very average here. In Express he plays Dale Denton, a 25 year old pot-smoking process server who dates a high school chick and gets high every chance he can. His drug dealer, Saul is played by James Franco, who actually does a nice job with the whole "likeable loser" role. They become entangled in some trouble when one night Rogan witnesses a drug lord (Gary Cole) and a crooked cop (Rosie Perez) murder a rival drug lord and member of a Chinese drug ring. Using a rare brand of pot that Rogan was currently smoking called Pineapple Express the bad guys track down Rogan and Franco and the movie switches from an attempted funny depiction of 2 pot smoking losers to an action movie where these guys have to try and get away from all the bad guys with guns who are trying to kill them. They ultimately decide to not call the cops but to try and work their way out of trouble by themselves, enlisting the help of another small time drug dealer played by Danny McBride. What your left with is some action, a lot of people getting shot and some mildly funny scenes. Ultimately not enough to earn a passing grade…
SO…lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C- Like is said, I usually like Seth Rogan and I thought he was very funny in The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Here I thought he was average. Maybe it was just too much of the whole pot smoking loser thing. I didn’t think any of that role was all that memorable or funny. He was just…there. I did like James Franco and thought he was the most likeable part of the movie. He played the loser role spot on and was pretty likeable while doing it. I didn’t think his part was all that funny either but I liked him better than Rogan. Thought the rest of the cast was below average. Gary Cole and Rosie Perez were both pretty lame and never really did much except shoot people. Danny McBride was decent as the third member of Rogan and Franco's little loser-drug friendship trio. Overall the cast was average.
Comedy: D+ Maybe Im not the demographic they are targeting here…(just a guess) but I didn’t think this movie was all that funny. In fact we were well over 45 minutes into the film before I even chuckled. Only a couple of funny parts even stand out as memorable. Pretty disappointing. If you want funny…go see Stepbrothers before you see this.
Hot Chicks: D+ You really only get one, Amber Heard, who plays Rogan's high school girlfriend Angie, unless you count Rosie Perez (which Im not). Heard is fairly attractive but not on screen all that much. Could have used a random bikini scene or boob shot. It was rated R for crying out loud.
Violence: C+ They tried to be a little over the top, and for a comedy they probably were. Lots of gun shots and people getting shot and killed. Pretty cool barn explosion at the end. Early reviews had the violence level played up as something great or shocking. I even heard it was Tarantino-like….Nope. Far from it. Average at best.
Story: D Pretty dumb, even for a movie about pot.
Best Part: C+ James Franco. Really the only likeable thing going. He was pretty good.
Overall: D+ Save this for a rental. Isnt worth your $9.50 unless you think smoking pot and running around trying to get away from drug dealers is funny. I didn’t.
Theater Count: 31
Crap I ate during the movie: Small popcorn (no butter). Milk Duds. Bag of Sugar Babies. 20 oz Orange Gatorade that I snuck into the theater in my pants.
Next Week: Tropic Thunder
7.31 Step Brothers
I like Will Ferrell (Ron Burgundy). I like John C. Reilly (Chest Rockwell). I like them a lot together (Talladega Nights). However I went to see Stepbrothers this week with fairly low expectations. I was hoping for some laughs and good times with a few quotable movie lines mixed in but I was expecting it to possibly let me down. Im not sure if it was the low expectations or if I was just in the right mood but Stepbrothers left me pleasantly surprised. Overall it was fairly decent.
The story follows the uniting of two 40 year old losers who still live with their single parents and are forced to unite when their parents (Mary Steenburgen & Richard Jenkins) get married and move in together. This forces Brennan (Ferrell) and Dale (Reilly) to share a room and get along with each other as new stepbrothers. The entire movie is basically these 2 guys fighting, then becoming friends, then fighting again. While I wont say that hilarity ensues there are enough laughs to go around. Ferrell and Reilly are great together and that dynamic carries the movie and makes it work on some level. Not much need or attempt at story or plot here, just these 2 goobers smacking each other and running around in their underwear. It works more than it doesn’t and is funny enough to make it a mostly enjoyable 95 minutes. If you like these 2 guys, crude humor or a lot of F-Bombs…your in for a good time. I wouldn’t bring the kids or the wife but Big Jimmy seemed to like it so take him along or your buddy of choice.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: B- Tough to grade this out as acting….but Ferrell and Reilly are pretty good together. They play off each other well and neither is afraid to be the butt of the joke. Just looking at these guys on screen makes me chuckle. The movie entirely counts on these 2 guys to carry it so the rest of the cast is fairly low impact. The best of the rest is Ferrell's more successful jerk of an older brother Derek, played by Adam Scott. He's pretty funny. Steenburgen is good (and quietly hot) as Ferrell's mom and Richard Jenkins is good enough as Reilly's dad. None of them do anything to screw up the movie.
Comedy: B- When I walked out of the movie I told Big Jimmy that all I hoped for was that it was good enough to warrant watching on DVD a few more times with the hopes of it getting better and better with each viewing (ala Anchorman and Talladega Nights) and it was. I'll check it out again. Some legitimately funny scenes. Enough to keep you laughing fairly constantly. A few slow stretches but not bad.
Hot Chicks: C- I know, I know but I found Mary Steenburgen sneaky hot. Ive never cared for her before on any level but in this movie she was old lady hot. Pretty minimal hot chick factor after that so normally I would grade the movie down but I was strangely attracted to Steenburgen so Im sticking with a C- here and I'll deal with the consequences. John C. Reilly does have an impressive collection of porn magazines from the 70's, 80's & 90's. To quote his character from the movie, "Its like jerking off in a time machine!" Come on..thats funny.
Story: B- Two losers who are 40, jobless and live with their parents have to move in together. They have a drum set, a tree house and do karate in the garage. Good times.
Violence: N/A Its all comedic stuff like getting smacked in the face with a shovel and rolling around fighting and getting beat up by the neighborhood bully and stuff like that. Not really violence…so Im going with N/A. Stay after the closing credits start rolling though, there's a pretty funny "revenge" scene where they go back after the neighborhood bully and yes, hes like 15 years old.
Best Part: B+ John C. Reilly and Will Farrell. Just look at them.
Overall: C+/B- Pleasantly surprised. Not great (yet?) but funny enough. Take your buddies or head to see it by yourself, its exactly what you expect. You always risk this being the type of movie where all the funny stuff is in the trailer (Semi-Pro) but there are plenty of laughs and funny lines to keep you entertained.
Theater Count: 81 Rough estimate. The theater was pretty full…steady stream of people even during the previews.
Random observation: This was the second Ferrell movie in a row that is rated R. It appears that is solely so he can drop about 100 F-Bombs during the movie. Funny yes…not sure he needs to work blue. Im hoping that his isnt a trend of less funny material enhanced by a lot of swearing. He's better than that…..
Next week: Undecided although Im kind of a closet The Mummy fan so Im leaning towards the new Mummy movie…I know Brendan Fraser is a goober but what can you do…..
7.24 The Dark Knight
THE summer blockbuster finally arrived in theaters last weekend as The Dark Knight roared onto the screen and I'm sure we all know by know that it will make eleventy-billion dollars by the times its over. It has already broken several box office records and almost paid for its production costs in just the first weekend alone. At the center of the hype is the much discussed final performance of Heath Ledger as the Joker which is already gaining Oscar talk for a best supporting actor nod. By several accounts this was to be the best Batman movie yet with solid performances all around and a much darker movie headlined by Ledger's creepy portrayal of the Joker. This looked like and felt like a summer blockbuster. I was generally giddy heading to the theater and given the fact that the theater was almost totally full at 945 on a Tuesday night, I wasn’t alone.
The Dark Knight story follows Batman along the path he has chosen as protector of Gotham City. He realizes that the city needs a man out front to headline the fight against crime and he chooses to get behind the new district attorney Harvey Dent, played by Aaron Eckhart. The Joker has risen up to take the lead in organizing the city's criminal underworld in their effort to rid themselves of the Batman. Joker is dark and creepy and is generally about wreaking havoc on the city. His goals are to take down Dent and Batman and sink the city into as much chaos and disarray as possible. Rising up to help Batman is new police Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Bruce Wayne's love interest Rachael Dawes (played this time by Maggie Gyllenhaal). You get all the action and special effects that you would expect in the Batman franchise and this time you get good acting, story and characters to go along for the ride. What your left with is a legitimate blockbuster and a good time at the movies. I'm not going to say its AWESOME but its pretty darn good.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: A+ (Heath Ledger) B+ (Rest of Cast): Heath Ledger is fantastic. No other way around it. His portrayal of the Joker dominates and carries this movie. We all know by now not to expect a Jack Nicholson redo here. (By the way, for those who say Ledger is better than Jack..hold on. It’s a completely different performance. I liked Heath's Joker better but I would have liked to have seen Jack give this type of Joker a try…) This is an evil and sinister Joker who really has no other motive except to kill Batman and destroy as much of Gotham as he can in the process. Ledger looked creepy, sounded creepy, was funny and eerie at the same time. The Oscar talk is not premature and it would be a total shock if he didn’t at least get nominated. At this point (with half the year to go) I'd say hes the frontrunner to win the thing. The rest of the cast was solid. Christian Bale has taken this role and become the best Batman the franchise has had although by the end of the movie I was bugged by his super gravelly Batman voice. Everyone else carries their weight here as well.
Comedy: B Not a lot of comedy here but the Joker has some very funny lines and moments. Not ha-ha funny like Nicholson's Joker but dark and sarcastic funny. Right in my wheelhouse. Just another element to Ledgers performance that adds to the total package of the movie. He really dominates the film and that was enough to earn a B here all by himself.
Hot Chicks: D Little disappointing here. Maggie Gyllenhaal is carrying the weight of this category and cant quite pull it off. I don’t think shes all that attractive but she looks extra weird in this movie. Lots of close ups of her face which wasn’t a good thing. I almost went with a N/A here because I know they are not trying to knock the hot chick demographic out of the park but in a franchise that has given us Kim Bassinger, Michelle Pfeiffer in a leather cat suit and Uma….they could do a little better. Gotta knock them for the effort.
Violence: B+ Pretty solid stuff. More dark and violent that most of the previous Batman movies, it plays well in this one. Good action, nice explosions and car crashes and the Joker wreaks a lot of havoc. Lot of action that doesn’t leave you disappointed. They blow up a hospital which is pretty cool and while Wayne Manor doesn’t burn down they wreck both the Bat-mobile and a Ferrari. Solid.
Story: A- Didn’t really care for the end all that much or the sequence that leads up to the end (for those that have seen it, I thought the whole voting on the boat thing was dumb) but otherwise it’s a solid story. Again, the Joker dominates that movie and when hes not on screen you are still wondering what hes up to and when you get to see him again. Without him I think the story suffers but with him its very good. I also thought the Harvey Dent/Two-Face story line was a little much and when he becomes Two-Face and goes crazy it gets a little silly but not enough to damage the feel of the movie.
Best Part: A+ Lots to choose from but Im going with Ledgers performance as the Joker. We'll be talking about him for awhile…..
Overall: A Good, not great, movie. Very good. Well worth seeing and definitely on the big screen. Right there with Iron Man for best movie of the summer. Different than Iron Man, you'll like it for different reasons and it’s a completely different movie experience. Batman is long, 2 1/2 hours, so visit the bathroom before you go and settle in….its quite a ride.
Theater Count: Full Too many to count. I got there 20 minutes early and the theater was almost full. By show time there was only 10 empty seats or so that I could see.
Next Week: Likely will head to check out Will Farrell's new effort, Stepbrothers.
7/6 Hancock
Slight change of plans this last week....Fourth of July + Will Smith + Angry Super-hero that drinks and swears = Good times at the movies. I decided to put off Wanted until next week and instead I went with some friends to check out Hancock.
Hancock is the story of a all-to-flawed super-hero living in modern day Los Angeles. He's a jerk, a drunk and could care less about how the public at large perceives him. He reluctanly goes about fighting crime but does it in a way that usually causes more problems than he solves. He runs into Jason Bateman's character (saves his life) and discovers that Bateman, who plays a struggling public relations man, cares about this super hero and takes an interest in re-making Hancock's public image. He comes up with the idea that Hancock should turn himself in, go to jail and wait until the public at large decides they need him again. Hancock would them come back with a whole new image and persona, ready to embrace the city that now cant stand him. This plan works to a point and then the movie takes a left turn that your not expecting.
Pretty quickly you figure out that this is not going to be the movie that you thought it would be. Looking at the previews you go in expecting one thing but about half way through the movie throws you a major curveball. By now you may have already heard about this change-up but Im still not going to give it away. It totally changes the movie from what you think your going to see. The only problem with that is that going in, I was expecting to see one thing and was all geared up for it. Will Smith as an angry, hung over super-hero who didnt give a crap and who throws kids up into the air and whales onto sailboats. I figured that he would have a moment of clarity, go to jail and come out and kick crime's butt for the rest of the movie. Throw in some wacky stuff and some bona fide action and you have a typical Fourth of July Will Smith blockbuster. Thats what I wanted to see and thats what I expected.
So, when the movie totally did a 180 I was thrown for a loop just a bit. Took me by surprise and I had to adjust to what was happening on the fly. It instantly becomes a different movie with a somewhat darker under tone. You realize that its not going where you thought it was. You take a risk when you lead the audience in expecting one thing and give them another thing completely. In my opinion its a risk thats worth taking and that is not taken enough by Hollywood these days. Its a risk they take in Hancock and it pays off. I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, in fact the more I think about it the more I like what they did. Not perfect by any means but solid. Will Smith is simply money in the bank, you know going in that hes going to be good and he doesnt disappoint as Hancock. Jason Bateman is fast becoming one of my favorite actors coming off of a solid performance in last years Juno and the underrated TV series Arrested Development. Oscar winner Charlize Theron is hot. Im interested to see how the audience at large views Hancock, mostly because it turns out to be a different movie that I expect a majority of the people expect. I enjoyed it, change-up and all.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: A By now, Will Smith has proven himself to be a major Hollywood star. He's a good actor that can be funny, serious and dramatic all at once. He's a bona fide action star but also very likeable on screen. He pulls this role off without much of a problem. Hancock is instantly likeable and funny, even when hes clearly being an ass. Like I mentioned earlier, Jason Bateman is quickly becoming one of my favorites and he is very good in this role. Charlize Theron also does a good job and without saying too much, is a big part of the second half of the movie. A little over the top...but shes smoking hot so I have no complaints. Nice casting all around.
Comedy: B Pretty funny for the most part. Not crazy ha ha funny but subtle funny. Most of the comedy centers around Hancock being a jerk to people which is always good for a laugh. There's a pretty funny montage of Jason Bateman and Will Smith watching some of Hancock's less than heroic deeds on YouTube and those are pretty funny.
Violence: B Nothing crazy but enough action that it kept the movie going. Some pretty cool standard super-hero stuff like flying, being bulletproof, stopping a speeding train and stuff like that. Pretty cool gunfight standoff between some bad guys and the police with Hancock stepping to finish things off. Probably not as much action and violence as you may expect but it certainly doesnt disappoint.
Story: A- Cant give too much away here without being a spoiler. Normally I dont care that much about being a spoiler but in this case its a MAJOR part of the movie so I wont give it away. Like I said earlier, its a risk to lead the audience into expecting one thing and give them another but I liked it and think it works here. Maybe on its own its not that solid but the switcheroo they pull notches it up a little in my book.
Hot Chicks: A Again a disturbing summer trend of letting one hot chick carry the movie but Charlize Theron pulls it off here. She's pretty hot anyway but later in the movie she ramps it up a notch. When you see Hancock...you wont be disappointed with Ms. Theron..especially in the second half of the movie.
Best Part: B The Will Smith/Jason Bateman dynamic. They play very well off of each other and really carry the first half of the movie. If that dynamic doesnt work, neither would the movie. You generally get the sense that Bateman's character cares about Smith despite being a jerk...Hancock gets this and allows Bateman to help him. The whole movie is solid but this dynamic carries it and shines through many of the scenes.
Overall: A- Walking out of the theater I told my friends that I felt this was a solid B or B+ but the more I think about it the more I liked it. I liked what they did and the risk they took, really thought it paid off. Will Smith was enjoyable and Hancock was pretty cool. Not your typical super-hero movie but one that had a little more substance. I didnt think the ending was great...but it was good enough to warrant an A- here.
Theater Count: 115+ We were well over 100 when the previews started and I stopped paying attention. There was a steady trickle in during the previews so Im not sure of an exact count. But it was the second night it was out and it was 4th of July weekend so while this would shatter my Tuesday Night Movie crowd record, I feel I need to put in into a separate catagory. Im still counting Rambo's 44 as my Tuesday night Theater Count record....
**On an unrelated note, they showed the preview for the new James Bond movie and despite having a stupid name, it looks awesome. I think I have a non-sexual man-crush on the new Bond, Daniel Craig. He kicks ass.
This week: Back to Tuesday night and heading to check out Wanted, we'll see what happens.....Ive heard mixed reviews.
6/27
"Missed it by that much...."
Fans of the classic TV show, Get Smart, will remember that line and chances are they will enjoy this movie remake starring Steve Carrell from TV's The Office. Im afraid, however, that other casual fans and movie goers will find that quote hits a little too close to home. The movie is good...but misses by that much.
This summers adaptation of the spy world TV series stays pretty much true to form. We have Carrell in the lead role as Maxwell Smart, secret agent from the agency CONTROL. Anne Hathaway plays his partner, Agent 99 as they battle the evil forces of CHAOS. We get appearances from Alan Arkin as the Chief and The Rock checks in as the dapper Agent 23.
The story has Control operating under the radar as a kind of forgotten throw away government agency. Their arch enemy, CHAOS, also seemingly forgotten has begun stockpiling nuclear weapons and rears its head with a threat to spread them around to un-friendly countries and use them against the city of LA unless they are paid a hefty ransom. The agents of CONTROL have to battle Chaos, Max's bumbling, a double agent who's sabotaging their efforts and the rest of the US Government who doesnt believe they can save the day.
Its not that I didnt enjoy this movie, its that I think they just kind of missed. It feels like they couldnt decide wither to make this a goofy, over the top comedy or a serious spy movie with lots of action. They tried to do a little bit of each and they never really nail either aspect. There are some decent action scenes and some funny parts but not enough of either. This is one of those movies where the funniest parts are all things youve seen in the previews already. You get about an hour in and you realize that it hasnt been all that funny and you keep waiting but it never quite gets there. Theres enough goofiness so that you cant take it as a serious action movie so your left kind of in the middle, waiting...
So, lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C I really like Steve Carell. I think hes very funny and great as Michael Scott on The Office. I thought he was funny in the 40 Year Old Virgin. He's perfectly cast as Maxwell Smart and he does a decent job, the problem is that we know him already from roles that hes much better in. Hes great in The Office, not so much here. Anne Hathaway is likeable enough as Agent 99. I thought Alan Arkin was good as the Chief. Average pretty much across the board after that. Cant think of any one reason to grade this higher than a C so there you go.
Comedy: C Again, fairly average. Most of the funny scenes youve already seen in the previews so that takes some of the edge off. There are some good jokes and they throw out all the classic lines and gags from the original TV series at least once so thats nice. Nothing to get excited about however. They do make good comedic use of the words "ball sack" and "uterus" and I enjoyed both of those.
Violence: C Pretty mild. A couple of decent action sequences with nothing too over the top. Felt like they were plugging in action scenes here and there because thats what you needed to do. Not a great flow to any of the chase scenes or fights. A couple of "hanging off a plane" and "being dragged by a train" shots that were a little silly.
Hot Chicks: C+ We get Anne Hathaway here as Agent 99. This is the first real chance Ive had to study her hotness and I have mixed feeling about it. She definitely looks good in an evening dress and there are 2 or 3 times throughout the movie where shes generally hot. If your a leg man you wont be disappointed with the ballroom dancing scene. I think shes also kind of creepy looking and has a weird face in an attractive sort of way. She looks like a lady you'd see at work and over the course of a year or two you'd come to decide that shes hot. We dont have a year or two here, just short of 2 hours. C+ is the best I can do.....
Story: B- I give them credit for not doing a complete remake of the TV show. All the original elements are there so I think fans of the show will be happy but they dont beat any of them to death, which is nice. The plot itself is silly and kind of stupid in parts but thats how the show was. Steve Carrell makes it work for the most part and its enjoyable enough. Could have really blown it up by shoving the old tv show down our throats and they dont do that so I bumped them up, just out of the C range.
Best Part: C+ Tie. A fairly cool skydiving scene where Max falls out of the plane with no parachute and Agent 99 has to go get him. Im a sucker for those "no parachute" scenes, I think they are cool. James Caan as the President. Yes, you read that correctly, Sonny Corleone is the President of the United States. On a side note, James Caan is my next bet for the actor thats still barely relevant and is about to spin off into crazy. Trust me, this guy is about to join Gary Busey and Nick Nolte as the big three of nut jobs. Just look at this guy and tell me hes not nuckin futs.
Overall: C Cant say I was disappointed because I didnt expect a whole lot. I think that if your a big fan of the TV series you will probably like this more than a casual fan or someone that has never seen the show. As a tribute to Don Adams and the original series it plays pretty well. On its own, its average.
Theater Count: 10
Next week: Wanted (which Im fully expecting to blow the hot chick scale right out of the water. Come on, Angelina Jolie is slippery, hot and tatted up...not to mention she shoots people. Giddy up!)
6/18 The Hulk
"Don’t make me angry…you wont like me when Im angry"
Fans of the classic TV show will remember that line and that it usually preceded an appearance from "The Incredible Hulk". While this latest adaptation doesn’t go there (they do have a funny joke about this classic line) they do pay homage to the original series in a number of ways. Cameo appearances by Bill Bixby (on a old TV show), Lou Ferrigno (as a security guard) and several references to the old series will keep the old school fans happy as they try to revive this comic book favorite into movie franchise stardom.
If you didn’t like the last film version of the Hulk, your not alone. In fact I thought it sucked. This time around they did away with the dark, brooding pace of the first film and brought in some big name actors to help move the story along. This time we get Ed Norton as Dr. Banner, Liv Tyler as his love interest Dr. Ross, William Hurt as the General in pursuit of the Hulk for military purposes and Tim Roth as the evil soldier turned Abomination. The opening sequence quickly moves through the back story (that we all know of anyway) and we see Norton living in the slums of South America, trying to learn how to control this monster inside of him. Sure enough the military finds out where he is and they are soon hot on his trail. They want to use the Hulk as a military weapon and he wants to get rid of it. Cue up Tim Roth deciding to subject himself to a similar experiment (at the urging of William Hurt's character) and we build up to a major battle between the Hulk and The Abomination, tossing cars and people around the streets of New York.
All in all this was a decent movie, very passable to comic book fans and action movie go-ers alike. I found it much more enjoyable than the first go-round was. The actors were better and the action sequences (while not plentiful) were pretty entertaining. There are the usual issues that you have to check at the door when you watch a comic book based movie but those were minimal. It still kind of bothers me that you have to go with a CGI generated Hulk but I guess there is no way to do it otherwise. Now a days people demand more than Lou Ferrigno painted green running around growling. Furthermore, the age old question still lingers, of how do his pants get so big when he turns into the Hulk but everything else rips off. They try to answer this with a few "sweat pant" references and jokes but Im not buying it. If tiny Ed Norton turns into the Hulk, hes running around smashing things naked….not wearing giant stretchy pants. Not that anyone wants to see a giant green wiener… but anyway…
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: B- Thought the cast did a decent job here. Ed Norton is solid as usual and Liv Tyler holds her own (thought she was better in The Strangers) while Tim Roth plays a smarmy, underhanded military agent who becomes the Hulk's nemesis. Acting isnt always the strong point in comic book movies but this summer'sIron Man set the bar pretty high for a movie cast. This one isnt nearly as good but its passable.
Comedy: C+ Decent. A couple of inside jokes and references to the original tv series were funny. The best joke was when Ed Norton messes up his Portuguese and warns some street toughs "don’t make mehungry…you wont like me when Imhungry."
Hot Chicks: C+ There is a disturbing trend of summer movies relying solely on Liv Tyler to carry their hot chick factor. Again, while I find her attractive, movie studios need to do a better job of casting hot chicks in summer blockbusters. Either that or she needs to play a stripper or something. There is a hot Brazilian factory worker that Norton befriends while hiding out but she is only on screen for a minute and doesn’t really do enough to warrant more than an average grade in this category.
Violence: B- Again, mostly comic book violence but its passable. Throwing cars around and smashing helicopters is always nice. Some buildings get smashed and a few people do as well. Explosions, growling and the Hulk pounding things. Decent. The final battle between the Hulk and Abomination is pretty good as well.
Story: B It’s the Hulk. You get what you get.
Best Part: A No big surprise here that Marvel is building up to the summer of 2011 when they plan to release "The Avengers" which will give people living in their mothers basements stuff to blog about for the next 3 years. For those that don’t know, the Avengers is a team of super heroes that is fairly popular in the comic book universe. The end of Iron Man eluded to this movie and so does the Hulk. We get a cameo at the end by Robert Downey Jr (as Tony Stark) who meets up with General Ross after the Hulk gets away and tries to cheer him up. He ends by dropping this line, "did I mention that Im thinking of putting a team together?". Cut to the closing credits. Nicely done. Im sure "Avenger" fans everywhere are going crazy. Even if your not, it’s a cool line that Downey Jr. nails. He's money this summer…..
**A close second is the cameo by Lou Ferrigno as a security guard. I forgot how much I enjoy Lou…I need to watchPumping Iron again. Anyway, he lets Ed Norton's character into a restricted area in exchange for a pizza. Nice work Lou.**
Overall: B- Not great by any means but an enjoyable time at the movies. Certainly summer worthy and I would recommend plunking down your $9.50 for the big screen. My guess is the giant CGI Hulk will lose something on DVD.
Theater Count: 28 (including Big Jimmy). Once school lets out and Big Jimmy joins my quest all summer long, we will be unstoppable. Or at least we'll eat a lot of popcorn.
Next week: LikelyGet Smart.
6/4
Why are you doing this to us?"
"Because you were home."
There you go…this weeks movie summed up in that quote. Random, senseless violence with no real purpose or hidden message. Good times.
On an otherwise slow week, I headed to see The Strangers with Big Jimmy joining in for the fun. Strangers stars Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman as a couple who head to their vacation home out in the woods after a night out at a wedding reception. Speeman's character had proposed to Tyler and for some reason she had said no (not sure why, he seemed like a likeable fellow). He had expected to return to his family vacation home (way out in the middle of nowhere) for a romantic evening of celebration. When they arrive and things have not gone well they decide to make the best of it and get through the night before figuring out what to do next. The night doesn’t go as planned as they are greeted by a knock at the door in the middle of the night. They find a young girl there in the dark just being creepy. She asks if Tamara is home and when told she is at the wrong house she asks them.."are you sure." Assuring the creepy girl that they are, she leaves but not before saying "see you later."
When she comes back she has 2 friends with her, all wearing masks ( a creepy burlap sack and an even creepier baby doll style mask) and they are not messing around. No reason, no purpose, just random acts of violence. They are there to scare, torture and kill…and they do all three.
Now this type of movie is ready-made to be stupid. Lame bad guys, stupid good guys and scary stuff that’s not all that scary. I was pleasantly surprised to find that wasn’t the case here. The bad guys were actually kind of scary. You never see their faces, they don’t say much and they just get down to business. The good guys were fairly smart and other than running back into the house a few times and heading into the scary barn they didn’t do much that made you yell at them for being dumb. The movie was generally tense most of the way and several parts were actually creepy. When it was over I decided that this was yet another reason to:
1) own a gun
2) NOT live way out in the woods by yourself
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: B Pretty solid. The movie itself doesn’t have many people in it. Speedman and Liv Tyler were both pretty good. Its easy to come across as lame when your trying to act scared but they were fairly believable. I thought Liv Tyler was especially good. She looks kind of sad and scared all the time anyway so it played well here. The strangers were all pretty creepy as well. Didn’t see or hear much of them and that added to the creepiness. Its always better to not know.
Comedy: N/A Not the angle they were playing.
Hot Chicks: C+ The entire hot chick quality of this movie is Liv Tyler. Now I find her attractive but not so much in this movie. Hard to look hot when you have weirdo's chasing you around the house in masks. So a c+ it is but its not really her fault.
Violence: B- Decent. Not a whole lot of violence until the end but throughout the whole movie you have the threat and anticipation of violence and that plays well. Nice tension throughout the movie. You know its not going to end well and they build up to that point effectively. Not overly gruesome or violent but effectively so.
Story: B Supposedly based on a true story (they tell you that in the opening of the movie) its not really. Its based on a number of events that the author jammed together into this story. I give them points for it just being random with no hidden purpose or reason. The strangers are not avenging some wrong or acting out because their parents were mean to them. We don’t know why they are doing this and they don’t seem to either. They just decide to. And they get away with it. Its always a plus when the bad guys win.
Best Part: B The masks. Not some stupid "Scream" mask or even the classic hockey mask from Friday the 13th fame. They go with a traditional burlap sack with eye holes and 2 baby-doll style masks for the girls. Very creepy. The scene where you first see the guy in the sack, he sort of slides into the background behind Liv Tyler wearing the mask. Nicely done. You know its not going to go well for her.
Overall: B Pretty pleased with this overall. Worth checking out, especially if you like movies like this. The killers don’t do too much that’s dumb or over the top (a little bit with the writing on the mirrors and stuff like that…) and the good guys aren't overly stupid. You believe they are generally scared and you can pretty much relate to the stuff they decide to do. Again, I wouldn’t run back into the house or decide to go into the scary barn but what can you do? Not perfect but solid.
Theater Count: a robust 17 including Big Jimmy who again snuck in his backpack of food. I went "all-in" however and snuck Taco Bell into the theater. Nothing like watching the previews while enjoying some crunchy tacos and a bean burrito with no onions.
5/28
"DUH duh duh duh...duh duh duh."
The man with the hat is back, throw in the whip and you have Indiana Jones, back on the big screen for the first time in almost 20 years. One of this summers most highly anticipated movies was this weeks Tuesday night feature. Going in I was pretty excited to check out the new/old Indy. Starting with the first time I saw the trailer I knew I would gladly plunk down my $9.50 to see Harrison Ford bring back his signature character. Rumors swirled around this production, starting with friction between George Lucas and Steven Spielberg over the script and storyline. Would fans buy into an older Indy? Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
As an Indiana Jones fan I readily excepted that I would probably like this movie just because. Accepting that, I still had 2 major questions heading into the show.
1) Would it be entertaining?
2) Would George Lucas screw it up? (aka the Jar Jar Binks question)
Before we answer that, lets address the story line. The movie opens with Dr Jones having been captured by the Russians (lead by Cate Blanchet sporting strange hair) and being forced into helping them discover the secret of the crystal skull, which is an ancient artifact that may or may not be an actual aliens head. The legend goes that if someone can find the crystal skull and return it to "the lost city of gold" they would gain access to all its secrets and power. The Russians are looking for this, of course, to use it as a weapon while Indiana is trying again to keep an important artifact out of the wrong hands. I found the first 30 minutes or so very entertaining. It was cool to see Harrison Ford sporting the hat and whip again. We had some good dialogue, a classic Indiana Jones escape and the foundation for an exciting 2 hours. Unfortunately we didnt quite get there.
We are introduced to Mutt (Shia LeBeouf) as Indy's new sidekick and off they go to Peru, deep into the Amazon jungle. I thought from here it just got silly. Too many silly car chases through the Amazon jungle, sword fighting while straddling speeding jeeps (again, through the Amazon jungle), and plunging off of 500' waterfalls only to emerge unharmed. It never got stupid but it never got really good either. There were some pretty cool killer ants but there were also some pretty lame aliens. When it was over I found the answer to the two questions that I had going in.
1) Yes, but not enough
2) No, but he tried.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C+ Im very pro Harrison Ford but he's not a good actor. It was enough for me that he tried and lets face it, he looks pretty cool as Indiana Jones. Shia LaBeouf did a decent enough job as Indy's new sidekick, Mutt (also turns out he's his son...SURPRISE...didnt see that coming). As far as Indy's sidekicks go he's no Short Round but hes no Sean Connery either. Cate Blanchet does a decent enough job in what was basically a throw away role. She never really did much except carry a sword around for no real reason. I could take or leave every character in the movie except Indiana Jones but since thats who were paying to see the movie worked, enough.
Comedy: D There were times that you could tell they were trying to be funny and just werent. I blame George Lucas here. Mostly slapstick and some sight gags, nothing really made me laugh. Not sure that they were trying to do that but if they were it didnt work.
Violence: B- Pretty standard Indiana Jones franchise stuff here. Lots of punches thrown, a few car crashes and explosions. Decent. We also had some pretty cool killer ants and a nuclear bomb detonation. All solid, nothing spectacular. Could have done without the car chase through the jungle. See the movie and you'll know what I mean.
Hot Chicks: F Poor effort. All we got was Cate Blanchet in a bad wig and Karen Allen looking really old.
Story: C+ Very nice first 30 minutes or so, after that it got fairly silly. For a franchise that has given us the Lost Ark and the Holy Grail, I was disappointed that they stuck us with dead aliens. Especially the dead aliens from the Close Encounters series. Hey, at least they didnt bring back Richard Dryfus as was rumored.
Best Part: A- Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. The hat, whip, theme song. All good. Lets face it, it was cool enough just to see that again.
Overall: C+ Dont get me wrong, this was not disappointing. If your just happy to see Dr. Jones again you wont leave disappointed. If you're expecting Raiders of the Lost Ark or even the Last Crusade, you will. Decent, not great. Probably not even on the level of "Temple of Doom". I have to rank this fourth place in the overall franchise.
Theater Count: 11 Including Big Jimmy who snuck in an entire backpack full of snacks. It looked like he had a 2-Liter of Dr Pepper in there or something.
5/14
After last week's Iron Man high I was looking at the movie listings and it wasn’t long before I knew this week would be a low. Indiana Jones is still 2 weeks away and there just wasn’t much out there that I hadn't seen that was all that appealing. I even briefly considered seeing Iron Man again…instead I decided to try out the mixed martial arts (MMA) feature, Redbelt. Written and directed by David Mamet who did GlenGarry Glen Ross (which I loved) I hoped for more of the same interesting characters and good dialogue. I got neither.
Know this going in, I don’t like MMA. It does nothing for me. So needless to say I was worried that this would be lame. While I didn’t find it to be that exactly, if there was any ever doubt that I didn’t care for MMA this put that to rest. It does nothing for me. Its like wrestling with some punches to the face. Problem is, even if you are MMA guy I don’t think you would like this film.
The story follows Mike Terry (Chiwetal Ejiofor) a small time Ju-Jitsu trainer who is running his own training academy. Its clear from the beginning that he is a "purist" in every sense, honoring the sport and what it stands for over personal or financial gain. He runs into a big time movie star one night at a bar (Tim Allen) and saves him from getting his butt kicked. They form a friendship and all of a sudden things start happening for him and his wife. He is made an advisor on Tim Allen's latest movie, his wife is going to partner with Allen's wife's clothing line, etc. Once things start going well you know that it will eventually fall apart. It does. It starts with Allen's people and the MMA fight promoters stealing Mike's idea for a fight gimmick which results in Mike being put in a spot where he agrees to compromise his beliefs and the purity of the sport to fight on the under card of the major pay per view MMA event. The finale is Mike Terry struggling to uphold the purity of MMA and doing whats right vs. paying the bills. Not exactly big time drama.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C Chiwetal Ejiofor is pretty good. Id like to see him in another role but I think hes got some stuff. Everyone else is fairly ho-hum. Nobody else really stands out. Some "that-guy" appearances here and there and Tim Allen is fine but overall the cast is fairly forgettable.
Comedy: N/A Not trying to be funny. Wasn't.
Story: D+ All over the place. Not really sure what point the movie was trying to hammer home. They kept introducing all these story lines and none of them really went anywhere. The end of the movie makes you think that they were focusing on the story line of Mike Terry upholding the honor of his Ju-Jitsu but looking back on the body of the movie they never really committed to that. Your left with a jumbled group of characters and story lines, none of which you really care about. Plus it’s a movie about Ju-Jitsu.
Hot Chicks: F Nothing. Not a single hot chick moment. I cant even give this a N/A because this type of movie screams for a token hot chick appearance and we didn’t get one. I think they were trying with his wife but it wasn’t good enough. Even the ring girl at the fight was lacking. Weak effort.
Violence: D Puzzling. I figured a movie about MMA would at least have some good fight scenes. Wrong. The fight scenes were just a lot of grappling and rolling around on the ground. I think this is why Im not a MMA guy. Call me crazy, but choke holds, arm bars and submission holds are not exciting. I didn’t like how the fight scenes were shot and they really never did much. I cant think of a single cool fight moment in the entire movie. I don’t mind some realism in a movie like this but you have to ramp up the action a little for a wider audience. Even the token "final dramatic fight" was lame. No real reason for them to fight, no real reaction to the fight, no action. Im not saying we need a lot of Jean Claude Van Damme in this movie but a little would have helped.
Best Part: F Really wasn’t one. If I had to pick one I would go with a cameo by Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini. Even then it was only cool because he was Boom Boom Mancini. His character, like most of the movie, was lacking. I was at least expecting a cool final fight scene but it sucked. Tell me this…if you’re the promoter of a major pay per view event that will make or break your immediate financial future and it starts to go wrong, what would you do? Something? Anything? Nope, just sit there and watch this random guy choke your star out in the hallway.
Overall: D Driving home from the movie I was trying to talk myself into something in the C- range but the ending was just stupid. I cant flunk the movie overall because it wasn’t painful to sit through but it never really was any good. Too many characters that you never care about enough, too many story lines that arent seen through to the end. Not very interesting unless you like rolling around on the ground and choke holds.
Theater Count: 4
5/8/08
With April finally behind us, the summer blockbuster season opens with a bang. With $100 Million+ in its opening weekend I gathered the troops for a Tuesday night run to City Center 12. Big Jimmy was along for the ride as was my friend Scott from work, earning his first official participation ribbon during my movie quest.
You know the story, Billionaire weapons developer Tony Stark gets captured while in the Middle East to show off his latest weapon, the Jericho missile. While captured, he's forced by his captors to build a missile for them to use and he learns off his company secretly selling weapons to groups in the middle east. He's haunted by this discovery and decides that if he escapes he will change how his companies products are used to hurt people. While imprisoned he decides that his only way to escape is to build a one man combat suit that is heavily fortified with armor and weapons….Iron Man is born. Using the suite to escape he becomes consumed by the thought of developing a combat suit that he can use to help people. Of course standing in his way is his old friend and business partner, Obediah Stane (played by Jeff Bridges) who is sporting an awesome evil guy beard/bald head combo and a cool villain name. With a summer movie like this all you can ask for is some action, cool stuff happening and an enjoyable 2 hours. Iron Man delivers on all counts. Lets head to the grade sheet.
Acting: A Robert Downey Jr hits this one out of the park. Hes absolutely perfect as Tony Stark/Iron Man. The comic book character is an alcoholic, womanizer billionaire playboy who also happens to be a genius. Downey Jr plays all of these traits perfectly and you get just the right combo of cocky/funny/cool. Hes instantly likable and extremely cool. Hes one of those movie characters that you wish you could hang out with but know you cant because at any given time hes doing something cooler than you are. Jeff Bridges (aka, "The Dude") is also very good as the villain, Obediah Stane and its fun to quote the Big Lebowski every time he's on screen. Even Gwyneth Paltrow is good as Pepper Potts and Downey Jr and Paltrow enjoy a legitimate chemistry on screen. No Oscar winners will come out of this obviously but a perfect cast for this comic book adaptation.
Comedy: B Several legitimate funny moments, most courtesy of Downey Jr. His character is a sarcastic know it all and he is constantly delivering funny quips and one liners. Theres even some pretty funny dialogue when its just him on screen or when hes talking to the robots that run all the electronic systems in his house.
Violence: B+ Solid comic book type stuff here. Lots of bullets, missiles, flame throwers and the like. Weve got car smashing, flying around and lots of guns and bombs. Everything you'd expect in a cool comic book brought to the big screen.
Hot Chicks: B Usually Gwyneth Paltrow does nothing for me but she pretty sexy in this movie so that was a nice surprise. You also have a super hot reporter played by Leslie Bibb, who you may remember as Will Ferrell's wife from Talladega Nights. Solid effort.
Story: A Comic book stories only need to be entertaining and have lots of action. This is the first movie in a potential franchise of films so you have to deal with the standard "back-story" of how and why he becomes Iron Man, plus the "building the suit and learning to use it" montage. They did a good job with all of this and there never was a slow part to the story. Downey Jr. carries much of the movie and he's incredibly likable on screen. Plus the Iron Man suit is super cool.
Best Part: A Lots of nominees here but Im going with Robert Downey Jr. Apparently he got the idea to make this movie while watching Spider Man with his kids and wanted to be in a super hero movie. He's absolutely perfect in this role and after seeing the movie you can't imagine it being made without him. Simply a great effort on his part.( Other nominees for the best part go to Jeff Bridges evil beard, the finished Iron Man suit itself (very cool), the scene where he demonstrates the Jericho Missile and the last line of the movie. I wont give it away but it’s the perfect way to end this film.)
Overall: A Long awaited start to the summer blockbuster season did not disappoint. Well worth your $9.50 and most likely a DVD purchase down the road.
Theater Count: 13 (including Big Jimmy and my friend Scott from work) Surprisingly low considering the opening weekend box office take although it was a Tuesday night at 10 pm in downtown Vancouver.
Random Movie Experience: Big Jimmy, upon sitting down, proceeded to knock over and spill my popcorn out twice in the first 45 seconds we were there. At least 1/3 of the corn went all over the floor and seat. He did somewhat redeem himself by sneaking in a giant bag of M&M's. Warrants mentioning.
5/1/08
STRUGGLING…to get through April. Anything even remotely decent I have already scene. Considered Leatherheads again, Big Jimmy made a push for Harold and Kumar or 88 minutes and I even thought about a last ditch effort to see Drillbit Taylor before it gets kicked out of theaters for good. In the end, I went with a new comedy, Baby Mama. Despite the fact that I think Tina Fey is hot and Amy Poehler is funny, I knew I would feel awkward telling the ticket lady, "1 for Baby Mama" so I was hesitant about giving it a go. None the less, I went for it and all things considered I was glad I did.Tina Fey plays a 37 year old, single successful VP of a natural foods grocery store chain. The proverbial biological clock is ticking and she wants to have a baby. Her doctor tells her that"He doesn’t like her uterus" and that she has a one in a million chance of conceiving. Her search through available options leads her to an agency that provides surrogate mother (enter Amy Poehler) who is the exact opposite of Fey, playing a white trash, uneducated goober looking to make a buck. After leaving her common law husband she moves in with Fey to ride out the pregnancy. Hilarity ensues. With a fairly predictable story line the movie relies heavily on the relationship between Fey and Poehler (from SNL fame) and for the most part they deliver.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: B+ Fey and Poehler are solid. They play well off each other as they did hostingWeekend Update onSNL for a few years. Amy Poehler is really pretty funny in this movie and that’s hard to do given they type of person she was playing. Her character could have easily come off as boring and stupid but she hits it on the head. Steve Martin is funny as Fey's boss and Greg Kinnear, who is usually great, does a nice job as Fey's love interest. He is so likeable that he probably needed a larger role in the movie. The guy who plays Poehler's goofy common law husband (Dax Shepard) is very funny as is Romany Malco as the doorman. Even Sigourney Weaver shows up and is funny as the very fertile owner of the surrogate mother clinic. Nice all around.
Story: B This is really a tale of two movies. The first half or so is the Fey/Poehler dynamic and that turns out to be pretty good with a couple of really funny moments. The second half is where they try and bring it around with some heart and nice message at the end. This part didn’t do it for me so much. Im not saying they flew it into the mountain but they coasted slowly to a stop.
Comedy: B A couple of really funny moments. Lots of laughs. Not too stupid. Most of the background characters were also pretty funny. Kudos to everyone.
Violence: N/A Not really in play here.
Hot Chicks: B- I know Tina Fey is not conventionally hot but I like her. Shes "sexy librarian" hot so that boosts the overall score here. Nothing else really going on….Sigourney Weaver is attractive as usual. Something about her being the "Gate Keeper" from Ghostbusters really does it for me."Take me now, sub creature!"
Best Part: B The Tina Fey & Amy Poehler dynamic. They fit together nicely and play off each other in a way that’s appealing on film. I look forward to them pairing up again. A close second here is the comedic use of the word "uterus". Which is funny. Just say it…"uterus". Good times.
Overall: B Pretty solid effort. If your old lady is trying to drag you to see this movie, go along without much of a fight. Its certainly enjoyable enough.
Theater Count: 20 Late arriving crowd for this one. When I got there I was the only one in the theater then all of a sudden the floodgates opened up. By the way, with a large, fairly empty theater there is no excuse for sitting within 10 seats of somebody else. Im talking to you, peanut M&M guy. You know who you are.
Is it May yet? Next week….Iron Man.
4/20
May cant get here fast enough. Take a look at the movie listings this week and you'll see what I mean. The bad part of my quest to see a movie every Tuesday night is that in a slow month you run out of stuff you want to see. Faced with this issue this week (again) I sort of decided to check out George Clooney's new movie Leatherheads, knowing full well that it was a chick movie and that it would most certainly suck.
Tuesday came and I received a phone call from Big Jimmy, who has been known to join me on my quest from time to time. We quickly decided that 2 dudes can not go see Leatherheads together because, as George Costanza would put it. "Just seeing that movie with another guy doesn’t make you gay but it doesn’t help either."
So, at Jimmy's request, we settled on "Street Kings" with Keanu Reeves and Forest Whitaker. Now its well know that I don’t like Keanu, in fact, I think he is a horrible actor. For a long time I refused to see The Matrix because of this fact. When I did finally see it last year I decided to create a new category of movie, EDKR. (Entertaining Despite Keanu Reeves). Currently this category is filled with Speed, The Matrix, Point Break and now Street Kings. (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is exempt from this category as Keanu wasn’t acting in that movie, Im convinced thats really how he is).
Street Kings almost certainly cast Keanu because he looks cool holding a gun and dressed as a cop. He plays a renegade cop who operates just outside the rules, doing what needs to be done to bring the bad guys to justice. Only we don’t mess around with arrest, trial and due process justice. Keanu dispenses healthy doses of .44 magnum justice. He is part of a special team of renegade cops, lead by Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, who do the dirty work that needs to be done but cant normally because things like the law and civil rights get in the way.
Certainly things start to unravel as Keanu's former partner is gunned down in a robbery/assassination attempt and its discovered that he had been talking to internal affairs about his former team's actions. The head of internal affairs, played by Hugh Laurie (the guy who plays the doctor from House) starts poking around which leads Keanu to start an off the books investigation of his own. Each turn uncovers more dirty laundry that in the end, points to…well, you can guess. If cop corruption movies have taught us anything its that it always leads to the guy at the top who you wouldn’t think would be involved. Street Kings is no exception, fairly EDKR but straightforward and predictable. No major surprises but some good action and legitimate drama. Good times for the most part, certainly more so that George Clooney and the guy from the Office trying to tackle each other.
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting: C- Given my anti Keanu disposition Im surprised that I graded this so high. He is as awful as usual. I really like Forest Whitaker but hes fairly over the top in this role. Im surprised that an Oscar winner would take this role but I guess you have to pay the bills. No one else really stands out, except Jay Mohr who plays one of the cops on the task force and works a really excellent cop/porn mustache. More on this later.
Comedy: N/A All the comedy here is of the unintentional variety. Nothing was supposed to be funny but Keanu was right on the money in several cases, belting out such winners as:
"You may not want me, but you sure as hell need me."
And
"Not where Im from. Where Im from, bad breeds more bad."
Hot Chicks: F This movie is ripe for a random sex scene or a cop meeting at a strip club but we get none of that here. Even the token hot chick girlfriend role is filled by someone who looks like she is 12. In a movie like this, there is no excuse for not having a high hot chick count.
Violence: B- Decent. Keanu and his team operate outside the law so we get some good gunfights and random beatings. I especially enjoyed Keanu beating an informant senseless with a phone book. A guy gets shot while on the toilet and Keanu gets smacked around a few times. Good Times.
Story: C Nothing new that we havent seen before.
Best Part: B+ Jay Mohr's cop/porn mustache. Awesome. You can tell right away hes a power player with a stache like that. Even if you don’t see the movie you should try and check out a photo of his mustache from this movie.
Overall: C (EDKR) Again, I can only assume its better than Leatherheads and given the slow month of April I may find out for sure next week…..May cant get here soon enough.
Theater Count: 20 (including Big Jimmy)
4/9
April is turning out to be a grind…not much out there that I really want to see but the journey here is bigger than the destination so I press onward. This week I decided to check out "In Bruges" staring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. I don’t really care for Farrell all that much but Gleeson is a great "that guy" actor and Ralph Fiennes is always a solid addition and I had heard good things so I was hopeful going in.
The story begins after Farrell & Gleeson (who are hit men) have killed someone in London and their boss (Fiennes) has sent them to a sleepy little town in Belgium (Bruges) to lay low while the heat dies down. Apparently there is nothing to do in Bruges except sight see and enjoy the buildings and canals in this scenic little town. This appeals to Gleeson but not to Farrell who is mad that they are being told to stay here where there is nothing to do. The story starts slow but once you learn what happened back in London it quickly escalates into a darker story line. There is some inner turmoil with Farrell's character and ultimately the boss orders Gleeson to kill Farrell for what he has done. Farrell's character (Ray) has meet a girl and is showing some signs of sincere remorse for what went wrong in London. Gleeson (Ken) decides that its not right to kill him for what he did and tells Fiennes (Harry) that he cant do it. Harry is upset by this decision and decides to head to Bruges himself and take care of both of them. As you can guess, things don’t necessarily go as planned.
From a sleepy start to the movie, it really gets going later on and takes on some dark undertones. Throw in a racist midget, some drug use and prostitutes and a whole ton of F-Bombs and you’ve got something here. Also as a side note, I believe this movie sets a record for the use of the "C-Word". You know, the four letter word that women seem to hate that rhymes with bunt. Yep, that word. They must use it 30 times in this movie at least….
Lets get to the grade sheet:
Acting B Not bad. I don’t really care for Colin Farrell in general but he did a decent job here. Brendan Gleeson is always solid and Fiennes does some good work here as well. There are also a couple of good secondary characters here including a nice performance by Jordan Prentice as a racist, drug using midget. Plus everyone has cool accents.
Comedy C+ Some darker comedy at play here but a few funny scenes mixed in. Also a couple of times where I thought the director was trying to be funny but it didn’t really work.
Hot Chicks D Ill give them this, I doubt there are many hot chicks in Bruges, Belgium. They lose points though because the girl they cast as the token hot chick isnt that hot. Kind of weird looking actually.
Violence B- They are hit men, after all.
Story B- I would bet that the director (Martin McDonagh, who also wrote the film) is a fan of Quentin Tarantino. There is a lot of the seemingly meaningless dialogue throughout the movie where you get the feel that he is trying to write like Tarantino. Some of it works, some doesn’t. The story starts out slow but by the middle to the end there are some darker elements that play nicely together. It sneaks up on you but it’s a good story.
Best Part A After a night of drunken, drug induced partying with prostitutes and a midget, Ray (Farrell) gets mad at the midget's racist tirade about a race war between black midgets and white midgets and proceeds to karate chop him in the neck. Laugh out loud funny.
Overall B- The best way to describe this movie is "sneaky good". It doesn’t hit you in the face as a good movie but when your done, you have enjoyed yourself. If you don’t want to plunk down $9.50 its certainly worth a DVD rental when available.
Theater Count: Zero
